Over time her affects are repressed, but not without contaminating her thinking processes. The child learns to judge her dysphoric feelings as the cause of her abandonment. Her inner critic also typically becomes emotional perfectionistic, as it imitates her parent's contempt of her emotional pain about abandonment. She is then driven to desperately seek connection and acceptance through the numerous processes of perfectionism and endangerment described in my article "Shrinking The Inner Critic in Complex PTSD" (see link for this article: Shrinking the Inner Critic). When a child is consistently abandoned, her developing superego eventually assumes totalitarian control of her psyche and carcinogenically morphs into a toxic Inner Critic. Many PTSD survivors "thrived" very poorly, and perhaps at times lingered near the end of the continuum where they were close to death, if not physically, then psychologically. In my experience failure to thrive is not an all-or-none phenomenon, but rather a continuum that begins with excessive depression and ends in the most severe cases with death. Without a nurturing connection with a caretaker, she may flounder for long periods of time in a depression that can devolve into The Failure to Thrive Syndrome. A child who is never comforted when she is depressed has no model for developing a self-comforting response to her own depression. Functional parents respond to a child's depression with concern and comfort abandoning parents respond to it with anger, disgust and further abandonment, which in turn create the fear, shame and despair that become characteristic of the abandonment depression. It naturally makes her feel and appear deadened and depressed.
Chronic emotional abandonment is one of the worst things that can happen to a child. The etiology of a self-abandoning response to depression.
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